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September 11, 2022 • 24:58

I stopped by late enough to finish walking the puppy at 1am but not as bad as last night when I would have begun after midnight if I tried.

prior to dog_walk I had been trying to resolve an issue with my mom's phone that I caused when I tried activating multiple devices at the same time like a fool.

Having persistent thoughts about my toughness as usual. Feelings of inadequacy like almost always. Invisible like usual. That's what was happening as I approached the house. About 12:40am.

when i delivered the puppy back, my mom said she was watching me work on the problem and how I just wouldn't give up and it's a good feature to be persistent
With how bad my thoughts have become, I suppose I'll try to take that as a good thing instead of taking it for granted because it's a parent. And not all parents do that. And I don't even know if it's true but I suppose I should treat it like it is. And maybe try not to take people for granted. And not just expect and take for granted that if there's anything good about me, someone will always tell me. Maybe I'm spoiled by having things so overt. I just want to be able to think without hating myself. so not taking anything for granted. is the idea. i don't know
i played Days Gone all day yesterday because I hate the fatty in Apex so bad. I need a job too. today i did a slight amount in that direction. I think that might be good even though no one tells me anything. I feel tired now. going to dump a big bag of garbage from the house

missing my imaginary tumblr friend and wishing we could talk again.
the good ole days of not very long ago

I think… I need water.
My friend used to tell me to drink water
maybe if I drink more I'll go back in time
to when things were good
without the bad things that infringed on everything good
glad i put my bottles in the minifridge
i want to FUU