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Poisoned Children
September 8, 2022 • 21:49:53

Refined March 1, 2024

Following up on my last entry. My emotions are more intense than usual, more like before the time that numbness characterized everything. While going over the last one, I listened to Minute of Decay and then kept listening. Reflecting God as I drove to the track. It's really satanic but I closely identify with it. So maybe I'm demonic even though I'd like to be Godly. That beautiful woman on IW was talking about how we've been indoctrinated for one hundred years into self-destruction disguised as pleasure. Despite how much Despite hating what that says about work I've loved, I think Marilyn Manson is at odds with the direction that society should be moving. But in spite of the heavily Satanic imagery, and in spite of the layers of artificiality that they wrapped themselves in, I think they are altogether less satanic than common politicians, county supervisors, fat chicks who call someone's boss to hound them on social media to destroy their target's job and make them kill themselves, the director of the CDC. I think the most satanic stuff is the most mundane and hideous. I think MM made the beast's final form look like it would be made up of chicks and drugs. Despite valuing those things, maybe the final form is expressed more often by tiny lies and manipulations, assuring people you're looking out for them while siphoning everything that fulfills them and connects them to the world around them. Maybe the beast is a guilt trip for not accepting their bad jokes, bad art, hollow words. Accepting, enabling, voting for rape and murder if it's politically expedient, favors an outgroup, or just lets you turn away from it for long enough to give yourself credit as one of The Good Eggs.
I see that stuff every day. Maybe it is just relative, maybe MM isn't good, and when cool evil goes on long enough it rots and decays into cringe. Ideally I would get the whores and skip the cringe evil. I don't know though.

there are parts in MM's music that hit me because it seems to describe what the world has become. I liked how MM seemed so meaningful and profound and supernatural back in the day, and I still want to believe, but everything I heard about Mr. Manson suggested that he's a gifted artist and business person (the latter of which I saw as bad before but really what's wrong with finding purpose and enjoyment in navigating financial systems and profesional settings when you get to also integrate your really bizarre art that would normally seem mutually exclusive from a business acumen), and that their most meaningful imagery was outsourced, perhaps cynically. He is also a very cruel person, I think. But I can tolerate that sort of intimate eccentric cruelty much more the pedestrian mindless cruelty of piling on a social media target emboldened by never having to experience life without an iPad constructing a curated false reality for them, constantly feeding them bullshit, giving them positive reinforcement for doing everything wrong and deranking and ghosting those who exhibit individuality or bravery or principles.

But somehow MM's music seems prescient. Maybe because Mr. Manson tapped into a lot of history. I ignored it back then. I just wanted the emotion. Artists have succesfully been discouraged from exploiting Hitlerian imagery because a really stupid image of tyranny has exploited him to make danger look like it only comes in red and black, and that any new tyrants will look just like him, so watch out for that guy, look for the mustache and shit, forget the hideous politicians nudging their constituents headfirst into their destruction. Yeah it's not a huge swastika flag, but evil isn't going to keep coming around in the same clothes. Evil is in people who hold office instead of knocking smaller people out and dragging them away to be eaten. Or maybe they do both. People who talk about that kind of treachery among the political class tend to be subject to extensive lawfare, so it's hard to get a nice casual overview of how common that is. I'm just saying that people didn't evolve out of genocide or oppression when Hitler died. The most bloodthirsty aren't going to shout him out and make themselves a target, they'll shout him down, attaching his name to their challengers, and latching themselves to the Right Side of History.

i don't know how I write this much when I only had one thing to say.
But I couldn't deal when he said that you poison all your children to camouflage your scars. I found that line from Man That You Fear so haunting and disturbing because it isn't just an emotional thing anymore, it's describing what parents do. Sometimes when I see kids in masks or elderly people in masks I cry because they're just starting life or near the end and I hate for that to be the beginning or end. Or hearing about kids getting cosmetic surgery which amounts to self-mutilation, signed off on by their parents. Hearing that line made me cry too, much more intensely than I would have guessed because it's too much to think about. Too much to hear him say it from the past. Maybe because it could have potentially been stopped, but evil has become trivial, and it's as easy to commit horrid acts as it is to ask some twitter ideologues and bots for approval. And if a handful of accounts tell you it's the right thing, why not fuck your kid up, why not just hurt whoever you want. Because some fucking accounts told you to. Like voices in your fucking head. You should be equally questionable as if you listen to a voice in your head. At least the voice in your head might be YOU. though I heard a creepy thing about how they didnt seem to be.

that line makes me feel really sad.