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August 13, 2016

Every time I use my charger, I think of you. I don't know why. I don't know why every time I look to my charger for comfort, for stability, I think of you, and then my heart is this concave house for nausea and instability. I don't know why it's you I see when the lights swirl around, assuring me I will be okay, that I will remain connected, that I won't be drained, that I won't lose it all. Why does this little thing remind me of you so much. Why have you drained the power that I needed for only one light? Why does all this incongruous stuff make total sense? I don't want it to make sense; I want to become more obsessed, more attached, and know that you'll never leave me. Because polygirls aren't supposed to leave. We're supposed to be friends, ride out other lovers, but ultimately be there for each other.

A friend told me that a girl has to have my back.
Being left is disappointing.
But feeling like you left when things got harder for me
Feeling that you left when it was a point a point a point of pivoting a pivot point
Why did you have to leave then

Is this why the word fulcrum has been out of control in my head for days and days?