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February 16, 2013

I'm insanely jealous because the aforementioned girl went home with someone else last night, but I have no right to be. I mean, I guess I have a right to feel whatever I feel, but it's ridiculous because it's not about me liking her; it's about me wanting to feel better about myself by having a girl be hung up on me. It's unfair to myself to feel that way, and it would be unfair if I were to demand someone to boost my self-esteem without reciprocating. That's pretty much the basis of everything wrong the blonde did: demanding this validation without returning it.

It's cool, though. I think I'm gonna try to be friends with this girl more with less fucking. I've historically been bad about that.
I wish I could preserve my jealousy for when it's actually logical, not just for anytime I make out with someone. What a waste of energy. I'm even trying to convince myself that no she's into you but it's irrelevant if she is. I'm not that into her. I'm just being an asshole in my head.