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September 27, 2009
09:59

dear dairy
think my friend is dead. haven't heard from her in a long time, and she kept talking about dying. i hope she is not dead, but i haven't heard from her
went to bob dole's birthday event at san francisco's edinburgh castle. my acquaintance's fiancée, and I danced with her and accidently touched her giant implants a few times, pretty exciting. I only apologized when I punched them by accident. they are the first implants i have ever touched

later when he was talking about having a threesome with her i think she said she doesn't like me like that which made me sad because IM FAT FAT FAT UGLY UGLY UGLY
and yesterday i went to get new lights with my papa. for my car.
i think it touched his heart when we went to la cumbre and the owner gave us cantaloupe drinks, and then i ordered a bigger one, and then i poured out some of it for papa. i felt more comfortable than usual. i sat in a chair. i took a solitary picture of papa since he is old and so i don't know how long he will be around, so i dont want to be without pictures, but i didnt let him know i took it

so from bday event we went to the jew's house where his girlfriend kept straddling bob dole, whose birthday it was and the jew tried to make bob dole drink more. even though on his way there he was so drunk and kept talking about punching the jew, and i tried to keep him from doing it but he kept talking about it, and after a while i realized that it was true, that he should punch the jew in the balls. but he didn't but the jew tried to give him another shot but i was like no don't do it no but the jew was persisting and eventually i just took the shot out of bob dole's hand which kind of surprised me since im a pushover
and so we recorded bob dole on the bathroom floor and he was vomiting and the jew and his gf made out and then i tried to get the gf to take off her top but it didn't work but she was being pretty sexy and kept getting all up on bob dole and then he and i watched the video later when he was less drunk and then we talked about how she should dump the jew and get with us instead and also the implant girl should too
im not hungover or drunk or anything im just tired i need to go back to sleep so i can get work done today i need rest i need rest!!!!!!!!
dun dun dun!
the end

yesternight before i picked up bob dole, iw as in target, i wa splaying marilyn masnson as is my wont, and i had it on my new headphones, and i was in this place ,i 've been here for ten years, and mm was saying you can't take this from me, you can't take this from me, you can't take this from me and i was looking at these baby carriages, and these corporate brandings, and then when bob dole got in the car, i said, i said i need to succeed, i need to succeed as an artist because there is more of a life for me, that i am not living.
and i used to feel that way, but then i felt like maybe it won't happen. but i feel now like it is truly my only option, and has always been my only option. i need to believe it since it is the sole means of escape
and i don't know any other way, and i can't treat it as a side project, or my life will be a side project
Dairyland