January 31, 2006
23:06
I've been listening to Figurine all day. I wasn't into them at all before, but now I kind of am, after listening to Stranger a bunch of times.
Today was sort of a blur. I'm having a tough time remembering the times. I told the Subway guy this, and he gave me a cookie! My god, I left the cookie in the refrigerator!
free things are the best.
I am learning beginning Classical harmony. It seems kind of complex, but I think once I get in the swing of things, I will be swinging from ledger lines like a Beethoven Monkey.
Today I sat in the learning center and drew all over CDs, inspired by music, sometimes copying directly from the album art, sometimes satirizing it.
So many relationships have been getting severed, and now my chords hang like dangly wires with no monkey friend. They were peripheral anyway, but it is upsetting to be disliked in general. And also lose connections to people beyond those people. But isolation is good, too. To walk around. And be alone. Feel more invested in studies or rock n' roll, rather than pointless conversations with smelly people.
I enjoy my world literature course. I used to only know that Persian girls are cute, and I pissed off one, and I like that other one who has a beautiful face and I talk to her briefly, but never for long, and she works hard. And now I know a few things about them, and where they are from, their culture, and why they might be here.
I am always fantasizing about being somewhere else.
I have difficulty accepting any situation I am in, always wishing to fly off to something else, and I now it might not be so great, so I am trying to teach myself to enjoy where I am for the most part. Realize that there are some aspects I will probably nostalgize in the future. And there's no future, no past, just a moment in time. And that's alright. It's good to have goals. It is also good to appreciate where you are. So I must do that. Must be nostalgic for the moment. Don't forget where you are.
So in my world literature course, I am like, "ok, i am kind of hungry so I would like to go, but this isn't so bad, I like this class, I like being here. I'd like to eat, but it's nice being here. I like this here. :)"
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