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June 13, 2015

I have become so lazy. I think I have gained a lot of weight.
I left my job several months back, because my manager’s words constantly left me so demoralized and deflated.

So I went elsewhere, and I liked it there, and it seemed too good to get another job that I didn’t hate coming into.
And then the manager came at me about customer complaints, which I’m not surprised about, because one was very angry with me because I was new, and another one called me a “fricken asshole” because I was so frazzled from the morning rush that it came out, non-verbally, but I guess some people are sensitive enough just to be mean.

I hated how my manager came at me because it really felt like he was coming at me. Not asking for my side, not really even proviidng much feedback exactly on what i was accused of. Apparently, when I audibly breathe, someone interpreted that as an audible exasperated sigh. Really, though, I do it all the time, when I’m alone, when I’m stressed, especially when I’m stressed. I forget to breathe in a healthy way, so I deeply inhale and exhale. Every time I exhale like that, I think of that, of having my breathing monitored for offensiveness, and subsequently, having my hours cut to less than ten hours a week, then addressing that with the store manager, then being fired, a punishment for bringing an issue up.
Nothing about what happened is ethical or fair, but it’s what happened. My parents say it’s not legal for my manager to collect tips, and if I can use that, I truly want to, because I despise seeing someone who treats people like that get away with it. i hate that so much.
If it’s true, what my parents say, I look forward to knowing that he’s being taken away in handcuffs. Otherwise, I don’t really look forward to much.

so i’m sitting here, jobless, and embarrassed, and unsure of what to do next.

I’ve made a new friend, though.