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April 30, 2014

i wish i could disappear from your life
so you could experience a life where you aren't the mother of a person totally broken by you
i wish i could disappear from your life
so you wouldn't need to be inconvenienced or scared of me whenever one of my boundaries is crossed
i wish you could have a good life
one that i never came into
one that never broke me
when people are romantically incompatible they break up
i don't know what a child is supposed to do when his mother hurts it in ways she can't comprehend
i don't want to hurt anyone
i realize now why i need to matter so much, why if i'm not working on art i'm nothing
because i'm nothing
because these issues of mine have always been on the outskirts
and when they broke in, they annoyed you
to keep from disturbing you
i am no one's child
i am in a no man's man land
i don't belong in the suburbs but i stay here
i find the beauty in the suburbs
because i can't go any further
i live in fear