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August 17, 2013

I really feel good for nothing today. I feel like I'm not good at anything. I want to be on opiates all the time. I feel useless and incapable of improving my skills. I feel like I have nothing to contribute and never will.

School's coming up. I'm almost done. I don't know what to do then. I wish I could focus long enough or be optimistic enough to learn anything. To be good at anything.

One of my online penpals hasn't written in a while.
Went to a club last night. But it was more of a bummer than it should have been.

I have gained a lot of weight. The food in this house is all full of sodium. I crave other things, unhealthy things I don't care, just other things. Food from outside the house is less depressing.

I was going to have a fruit from the kitchen but my mother touched the fruit and put it in one of the containers she poorly cleans. No fruit for me.