May 07, 2022
The turmoil of the daytime makes the cold isolated indifference of the evening more unpredictable. Wasn't really braced for it. The day seemed so infuriating and stressful and lava-filled. Didnt expect the ice planet to catch up after running after my two hour dairy entry. I knew I wasn't in contact with anyone while I was in the lava level but it didn't really feel acute until I ended up in the cold dark and realized there's no lava just me and my phone and quiet, and no one is listening. I think this is why suicide seems like a good idea. When it's so cold, you just want warmth. and you figure one sharp hot moment and then you won't have to be cold and you won't have to face the indifference. and you think maybe if they hear about me, they'll care about me, and I won't have to be around to find out they don't.