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January 31, 2022
friend talked to me again. very grateful and feel like i can look forward to my time off instead of dreading being alone without her. not glad i upset her so much by running through the possibilities and coming to believe i was abandoned. it seems like there are so many possibilities and the most likely one is me screwing it up and being left. dont want to do longterm damage to our relationship by being so uncertain. i thought i was too open but maybe wasn't open enough.