Burst into Flames
December 08, 2021
Thinking about the chick too much. Drove back through Half Moon Bay even though I'd like to just get back and get on Destiny if my friend is still on, but I'm always tired in my room, may as well get tired driving instead. Aggravating drive I hoped would be nice but got every single fucking driver with bright lights driving way too close to me the entire time. Just dumped on everything
just a disclaimer i hate bungie and destiny and the way they banned a guy because of hearsay within the company rather than treating him like any other player. gross overstep of boundaries. companies shouldnt be involved in judging the moral character of any customer that just happens to be highlighted by some idiot in the company, or some kotaku hit piece. it shouldn't matter. if someone's a murderer, and they served their time you just ignore them and treat them like a customer. and it isnt about morals anyway. they don't care about murderers even though when i hear about someone being killed, it sounds like an inconceivably horrifying way to go. like yeah id have a hard time defending that. but just on principle youre the company, you provide the product for people to buy, you don't make the customer sell themselves to you for the privilege of being allowed to log in to the product they think they paid for. so i hate bungie but i like my friend and if he's on a game, i'll get on that game. and i hate murder.
Thinking about the chick proudly displaying her NEW boyfriend online like. like fuck you. being pressured into being in a relationship with her, being treated like shit, being ignored, being taken for granted, by someone who wasn't even beautiful. Just left me feeling like total garbage, like she was embarrassed to even mention me to anyone, and I get to find out she's let someone else in her this whole time while I was still looking across the Bay and being hyper invested and emotional in this person who just doesn't give a shit after forcing me to give a shit. Burn in hell because you've dragged me through it.
Been putting off going to check on my dog but I have to. I don't want things to get worse, and I just feel like I'm moving the story along by going there. But I will. After running. If no one shows up on the track. Even though I'm worn out now. I already miss walking him through the neighborhood as I drive through. I wish I could make him happy.
need any type of affection but all my friends are tradwives now and im just bullshit and im alone like im supposed to be. i want to be interested in my own life so talking to people doesn't just remind me how little i fit into their lives and how little i matter now. maybe atheism is unstoppable has a new video. i can't tolerate music anymore, only hatred. i just need to hate so the loneliness and misery doesn't drag me down to hell
need to care for small things