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August 09, 2021

Listening to Barricade Garage and cleaning bathrooms. Been thinking too much about Australia. Friend tells me "we're fucked" thanks for the fear porn delivered to person trying to crawl from depression. Real friend would send porn porn but it's just fear and cortisol now.

headline I wish I didn't see about mandates when the injections get FDA approved. Thinking about how manager asked yesterday if I'm vaccinated like it's his fucking business, then says Oh YEAH you definitely need to WEAR A MASK THEN then corrects himself and says Well now everyone has to. Like I know there's a lot of countradictory info, but can't you at least concede you've been put on a fucking roller coaster of emotion and your brain is probably imprinting this as a time of being in an abusive unpredictable relationship. I feel like all of this is professionally engineered to reward snitches and conformists with dopamine and overload non-conformists and untrusting people with cortisol and make them want to kill themselves. I don't even know how you express to the workplace that they're making you want to kill yourself in the name of safety, especially discussing yout discomfort and uncertainty makes them see you as a problematic person as contagious and dangerous as a literal virus.