August 04, 2021
I'm parked back home. Didn't run, didn't walk_dogs. Returned my horrible insoles that on hindsight definitely paid for their reviews. Fueled up. Almost didn't go to Wendy's because of a long line but the interior was all clear. Some weird chick in front who looked like she might have been in the local goth scene in the nineties/zeroes. She seems to accidentally approach me after I park then she keeps mumbling. Think she's tweaking. I'm kind of drawn to her because I don't know why. I guess I have issues. The staff seems to recognize her, she has sores on her face, and when she walks outside to talk to me I just keep getting hornier. Maybe I'm an actual predator because I don't think that should be my response to this cracked out person. I was even thinking maybe I'd drive her since she seemed to need help, but I must not have good instincts because I went from thinking she's harmless to a possible threat. And when she fake cried about needing help to get her bags, all the alarms went off. I told her I can give her garbage bags but I can't help her with anything.
It was kind of like the time this guy was hounding me in SF near a big neon-lit strip club. In the mart, he was like will you buy me chip. will you buy me orange. i was just like no and there was a point where I stopped entertaining him and said im tired of being hustled by him im not buying him anything. I have no idea what year that was. It always seemed somewhat recent, but it could be a very old time. No apparent reference, like I don't remember any year when I was like "oh that was two years ago". It was always just in the past somewhere.
I gave her my Google Voice number. She initially approached me asking if I had been in rehab. I was concerned about giving off that vibe. She got defensive when I asked her some questions about where she was going and what she needed, since she seemed to be asking me for help. Anyway it was her about face and fake crying that muted my lust, not the sores or incessant hushed babbling. That's probably not ideal. I'm more drawn to that fucked up stuff than I used to be. Maybe I feel much lower than I used to be and wanna fuck some gutter person in the gutter, in the rain, in the gutter.