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August 02, 2021

Really wanted to sanitize all my sheets and pillows when someone else needed to use the washer. I was only able to wash two pillows. I'd like to sanitize all my sheets more because it seems like a possible vector for all the dust since nothing else seems to work and I've mostly sealed the door.
They retroactively applied a rule that no one can do more than one wash a week but I went over a year without doing laundry here. So I'm just trying to do it when no one's around but someone always seems to be.

They also instituted a rule prohibiting flushing toilet paper.

Not feeling great about myself or my life. Need a job that doesn't scare me. I don't know how to feel worth anything. I need to go running even though I feel like doing nothing. At least I can clear the trash out of mom's house and run and do something. I don't know. Wish I had more consistent friends so it wouldn't seem like I'm staring down the barrel of an isolated existence.

I used to feel comforted by one of my friends like they could make getting older bearable but he had a baby and his wife hates me so that didn't pan out. I'd make a baby too if it seemed feasible but all the propaganda of the time told me it's stupid and gay and you should be a famous artist instead of building a foundation. Now all the propaganda I consume is depressing because it always insults people who don't have that foundation. But it seems like the only place to go for funny offensive comedy. So I don't know. If I had a better job at least that'd be something. Glad I'm going to do some software focus testing soon. At least that's different and branches off from the suffocating repetition of this life.