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July 26, 2021

Parents keep trying to reach me and I feel like I'm just drifting further away from life. I'm going to do their shit but I don't feel like I have any support system anymore even though they still give me things. Don't feel like I have anyone to go to I guess and being around them I feel like I can't even get into how out of control I feel.
feel like I barely have enough energy to do pushups, go running, pay a bill, and then they need me and the last bit of energy is sapped out of me and seems pointless to try doing more than that

maybe i just got too much free stuff my whole life so losing some of it feels like the ground is falling out from under me. i wish i wasn't raised to need people who always need me around now. totally detached from any aspirations i used to have