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July 24, 2021

Kind of angry and bitter my dad didn't offer me money. I didn't ask for any, but I mentioned to my mom that I'm trying to use credit to pay one of the ridiculous vehicle fees because that bill is going to make me unable to pay off any of my credit and still pay rent. So I'm planning on next week which is also the week he assigned me to assist his hospital visit. Think it might be getting that way with both of them, where I'm nearby so I'm just required to do whatever they need whenever they need it, and if I don't clean up after them too, I'll get emails from my sibling calling me a degenerate and an invalid and a sadist or whatever for not doing enough while he travels and has his very own life and has had one for decades, while I've always just been here, treading water, trying to keep my head above water too.
Anyway, it's hard for me to help because of my OCD condition and my inability to lay or sit down when I'm visiting, and now it turns out he requires someone to be with him for not just the rides but for two days, when I need to do this other thing so I don't get fined and he's not paying me to help him. Sibling might do it, hope he does but I expect he'll also take more pictures of my mother's hoard and tell me it's my fault and he'll make me pay.