February 23, 2017
11:48
For some reason it's harder not to cry at work either it's like I'm just spilling over this hollow shell around me and becoming more messy. A friend is nearby asked if I'm going on break soon. Then. I didn't hear from her and I'm on break. And I know if I see her that then she'll be gone again and that will hurt too. Left behind by my family and friends and there's nothing about myself that is interesting enough to make it easier. And now that I have that event I'm going to tonight I'm thinking about how much time it will take from playing games I just want to play games but more than that I want to enjoy playing games but I feel so little lately. I just feel anxious and miserable, most of the time and I still have my dreams of being Marilyn Manson but I'm just overweight and tired and feel as if I'm going to die on this rock I've burrowed a hole into.
|