December 27, 2016
22:56
i should sleep but i dont feel worth sleeping. i dont feel worth anything. looking for something to play that i havent been playing all day
my hands are so cracked
the thoughts of rejection are just swirling around me now, devouring me. been playing until dawn. every attractive girl in that game is a reminder of how much i fall short
im reminded of the fact that my mom made a police report on me in order to spur me into leaving my bedroom so she could rent it. she says she wont choose sides but she chose my brother's then. and i suffered for it
i hate how my family feels now. i hate how this very intensely personal thing has become something that is now determining how i am treated, become something that is used to mock, humiliate me, cover my car in food
i feel like none of them care
i need to call my dad back.
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