There are so many rich white people and they're all breaking the rules and it's my job to go up to them in my fruity jacket and tell them they can't sit there or smoke there or whatever. And I'm scared of all of them. I don't know even think they're mostly white. They're just that new bland culture in the area. Profit machines. Plus women I want to fuck but who scare me more.

Took a whole clonazepam and I think it's helping. Hope it doesn't just put me to sleep. Store employee with visible panty and bra line made me practically have a seizure. I feel like such a gremlin toad. A gulf between what I like and who I am.