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September 29, 2016

Work was hard today.
Met a game developer I greatly respect
Thought of how pain is like a pillar for great things
It can be a battery for a beautiful machine
But I don't know how to make the machine
But that's my story
One of pain
Pain through it all
In a McDonald's and a pop song comes on with a girl asking do you like you
And I keep thinking no I don't
And I don't know how to
The music and the loud black woman on her phone are making me want to kill myself
So I think I'll let myself go
But one more thing
I feel like the removal of me was like the last thing my mom could do to take possession of me
And I want to cry for myself for all of my lost pasts and futures
And all this pain has to be good for something.