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September 21, 2016

Today is harder than others. But at least there are other days now. I think about the few times I drove up to see her before she dropped me. I think about how easy it seems to be for her. How losing me seems to be an experience completely devoid of pain for her. And full of pain for me. I think about her secrecy. How she had a seemingly endless amount of money after her grandfather passed but wouldn't tell me.

I felt like an item on a spreadsheet. To be measured up against other people. To be removed when certain criteria were met.