August 17, 2016
16:48
I so badly want to escape into fallout again but I associate it with her too much I think if I played it for a very long time I could reclaim it. If she would reclaim me I would not need to reclaim it
But I don't feel optimistic but I want to feel optimistic. When she ended her other relationships it's like it didn't affect her at all. I wish I could show her what demented vampiric behavior this is. Demanding so much love. Requiring so much care. And then when things get rough for me and it's smooth for her she leaves. It's so draining it's so awful. It just feels like the arm of my family rejecting me extended into her arm and everything that was bad before is, somehow, much worse now.
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