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August 06, 2016

Yesterday I asked a guy who was bothering visitors to stop doing so. He was holding up a laptop playing music like a boombox and bopping around. I wasn't scared of him even after he complied then proceeded to launch a litany of profanity and hate at me. I wasn't afraid of the man who only spoke in grunts and finally after three meetings in which I asked him to leave, he shit on the ground.

I don't know it it's that it was such a large group or just what I don't know. But there was no backup. Even if most of the threat was in my head I think it has to have been one of the most nerve racking moments at this job, and the cut hours and misplaced priorities and morale destroying management have me thinking I should go elsewhere for work. Being in a situation that, if it turned violent, I would have none of the backup I have come to expect, it feels like a matter of time before something goes horribly wrong.

I think what made me th most uncomfortable was how they exhibited the complete lack of sympathy normally found only in children because that part is undeveloped. But to see it in grown men with potential weapons who could all hurt me, and on top of that have no protection at all, and on top of that everything else. Maybe it's good I lost a day. I'll apply for unemployment. And maybe one of the days that was cut is a day I would have otherwise been murdered.

I wonder if there is any order at all.