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September 18, 2015

dear dairy, I’m in a class so i don’t want to type too much because i dont want anyone to see that i use a site that looks as if it is geared toward twelve year old girls, though anyone using this site since the start has to be late twenties at least
im probably going to write more because i havent really felt very confidant-ial with regards to friends.
so i’ll just write
maybe i’ll write about more than just the bad things

i’ve gotten too fat, I’m fixated on a busty latina with grotesque tattoos, i want her so badly. she goes here. i think she’s kind of fat, too, so she probably isn’t outside my weight class but shes so attractive to me that she seems unattainable.
but i need to finish.

so I’m working on javascript and i realized something
ive been listening to the joe rogan experience a lot, he talks to a lot of smart people, and when the work seems too hard, when it seems too hard to focus, i used to feel stupid. but now i feel like when it seems like that, the work is probably not too hard, it’s probably right on the cusp of being challenging enough to be interesting but it’s not interesting enough. so instead of falling back and doing review or whatever, i realize now that it’s probably best for me to move onto something harder, and i can review past notes as needed. the challenge actually hones my focus because it becomes much easier to stay involved if it’s hard. if it’s almost hard, then it’s easy to lose sight of whats important

been learning guitar a little and i think maybe i need more challenges because i haven’t picked it up in several days
this plays out in destiny too, when i play multiplayer against people who aren’t that good, i lose more
ok well bye.