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July 14, 2015

i'm in a lot of pain today and it seems so senseless. i wish it wasn't so hard to get painkillers. but a bunch of idiots who don't know their limits fucked it up for the rest of us. i go to chiropractic appointments weekly and they declined me. so instead of going to them and being embarrassed, i just took half of someone else's, but now it's difficult for them to get theirs. so i've just been experiencing this awful burning pinching sensation in my back all day that i know could be whisked away but i dont have the thing that would help with that.
i feel desperate and a little scared
im going to begin a class for web development. sixteen week, five days a week, designed so that people can get entry level work upon leaving the class. i really just want enough money that people won't question me when i want something. so i dont have to be sitting in this tiny bedroom, unable to buy an air purifier or a bigger desk, just thinking of how much my back hurts, utterly undrugged.
br>i dont want to go back to retail
things were brighter for a time when i knew that girl, then she left me, like everyone does.