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February 07, 2013

Found out I have pneumonia last night and it may be reason I have had a recurring cough for a while. I blame the blonde. For stressing me out. I saw a living raccoon last night. I haven't spoken to her since December. Since she fucked that guy, and since she got all buddy buddy with the guy who was my friend and I suspect they fucked too. Maybe it was the fever. Or I don't know what. But I texted her, "Finally saw a coon that wasn't dead". She liked that. But the conversation ended there and I had no reason to continue it. But it did make me too soft. It made me think of alternate pathways of our relationship that seemed plausible in the afterglow of the text, but aren't. She isn't nice, and I need to keep moving forward. I need to fuck girls who are nice.

Got a call from the airport company today. I showed up for my interview in shades because my regular glasses are getting their lenses replaced. It sounds very likely that I'll get a job of some kind there. It's happening really fast. It's very encouraging. I took classes and stuff in finding jobs and stuff, but it seems that just doing exactly what my dad didn't want me to do, taking a semester off to soul search (im gay) and look for work is yielding the most rewarding results so far. and my friend pilot is optimistic about this position and that if i don't get a job with this company, she has a plan to keep looking with me. i have good friends. better people than i am. more loving and supportive than i am of them.
i have a second interview tomorrow with someone else. I'm nervous because in the interview today, he asked about my past experience which to me, isn't serious experience at all, and to talk about it as if it is real experience feels like i'm just lying. a lot of it was just stuff i did with my family under different business names. but i didn't lie about what i did do.

i think i did a pretty good job of being myself, not trying to seem overly professional like when i applied at apple. my personality is kind of out there, its hard to hide, so why bother. i always imagine job interviewers being these ultra picky, professional types. but i think if i have a strong personality, and they like that, it's that personality that can get me a job.

so he said if the interview tomorrow didn't yield results, we would then move on to look at another position in customer service. either one would be really good for me, but i think the customer service one might be better for experience, but less fun.

i just worry they'll ask hard questions about past work that kind of reveal they weren't very serious positions. i don't know. i'm really just applying for manual labor, and this kind of job has a high turnaround because i guess it's a lot of physical activity in a fast paced place and thats too much for some people. but it sounds right for me, but i haven't actually experienced it yet.
i was thinking of getting a tv for my room, in my mom's house, where i live, but the chance to finally get out of here might be sooner than i thought, and maybe ill hold off on a purchase like that till after i move out and get a bed and everything. a new bed sounds awesome.