July 09, 2011
14:05
I think I'm starting to shake from getting angry and full of adrenaline because my mother keeps asking me if I went to Costco. I was trying to rationalize it, like, ok I'll go pick up the same dumb shit she always wants and she'll get off my back, just do it and she'll stop bothering you, as long as it doesn't compromise any of your other plans what's the big deal, and then she asked "you go to costco yet?" knowing that I hadn't, and I feel like I'm losing control of my fine motor functions. I feel like a whore or something, I feel degraded, the way she talks to me, the way she doesn't realize how I only have leisure, I don't have a legacy to be proud of, I'm no one, and she turns me into her errand creature. Further cements that I am no one and don't deserve my own life or sense of pride.
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