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June 24, 2011

Just called my mother an asshole and feel totally stupid about it. It accomplished nothing. I was frustrated. Because she was frustrated with me. Because I showered when she expected me to move my car. But I needed to clean myself first. I kept thinking about how I had to keep the filth that she injected into my mind from contaminating my car.

I went to Academy of Science's Nightlife last night. I t was as goofy and bad as it looks in pictures. A bunch of drunk people tapping glass, using flash. I went with goth friend, and some guy who makes me uncomfortable. And near the end I saw my high school friend, under a canopy of fish. Goth friend seemed offended when I opted to stay with the other friend for a little bit, but got over it or pretended to. Afterwards, I caught up with high school friend.

And I'm tired, and it's hard to write. But it was special seeing her at that time. I will try to be brief. Met her and her friends at a pizza place, but then it was just me and her. We went to Mel's diner. And it was kind of weird, I guess. I talked a lot. I was different than usual and I don't know why.
And then we both talked, and we were both talking, and we were talking in the car. About mothers, about control, about escape, about fear. And I wanted to talk to her more in the past, but never got to, really. And after knowing each other for so many words we really talked for the first time. And I felt something which I had sorely missed for so, so long, the passion, the darkness between us, the night around us. Someone who understood and that I connected to. A friend. And then I wasn't so obsessed with hearing my own self speak, because I wanted to listen to her speak. At three a.m. we parted ways.