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June 08, 2011

She lay next to me, masturbating, twitching, desperate. Like an insect. And first I felt like it was a degrading experience, having my fingers shoved into her, and then I felt disgusted and bored.
When she asked me to shower with her even after I said I didn't feel like taking my clothes off and getting wet, the situation felt more pathetic.
I realized how messy it would be to escape this. I am sick of the desperate and clingy ones, but they are the ones who come to me. Who don't require effort. They are also the ones who pull part of me from my self, resulting in a feeling of tremendous emptiness and boredom. A feeling that there has to be more.