February 1, 2010|
Went to move my car to 4 hour parking at two o'clock.
Went to get water from trader joes somewhat aimlessly.
Drove back to a spot. Walked up the street, almost trailed the other way to follow some running babes, but thought that'd be too desperate, and they probably were going another way anyway.
Turned around from staring at them, turned to the road I was walking, saw her, looked down figuring it wasn't looked up again, decided not to ignore her because there was no way to fake it. Looked her down. Didn't stare her down. She was all smiles. Hi, she says. Hey, I say? It's good to see you it's nice to see you or maybe she asked how I was first, I had my gaze averted, like a dog that had lived through this before. She touched my bicep, told me it was okay. I felt disgusted at her for being in a position to tell me things were okay, like her life was such a paragon of stability & peace & joy since she ran away, since she threw me away. She said she had to go as we walked apart. I can't remember a single word I said.