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January 12, 2010

The cat was clinging to me like a caterpillar scarf, with claws. The dog is lying on the floor outside my room. His harness fell off earlier, revealing his doggy body to the entire world, saved before some puppies waltzed on over. I don't even know how I would handle that.

I have been working with a guitarist. She is young and enthusiastic and gets on my nerves a little, and I think we are very different people. Last night we saw Sonic Youth, and I liked her more. We had common enemies in some of the Fillmore patrons. Common enemies bring people together.

Saw Plan 9 the night before in Berkeley. Beautiful girl outside the venue. Didn't pay to get in, waited for the door person to leave, saw Lisa, hugged Lisa, went to Araujo's in San Bruno, neon restaurant establishment. Repeating racist stereotypes, didn't realize I was mocking the sun of the owner. Etc. etc.

I worked today. It was nice to get some money, but I put 25% in my skull savings. Might need to use that 25% though, unless I get more, soon. Etc etc.

Ate some different kind of food tonight. than usual. Not the usual, constantly, nausea. I should eat food that isn't drenched in cheese more often.

Throwing up throwing stars up on my ceilings and walls, I installed a blinds, in my room. so proud of myself.

I wanted to work on music tonight, but I approach it from a place of fear. I began a new piece out of our "jam" "session", and I really like the baby stage it is presently, in. But it needs to keep moving, keep growing, don't be stillborn baby. But I approached it from a place of curiosity before, and now I only have fear.

As I walked alongside the rode back to my house, I thought of how I live in this giant biodome, or small biodome. My neighborhood, and how I have to find an interest in the small things, in the familiar, or else I will lose it. So I walked along the rode, looking at plants, wondered about what plants are, what kinds of plants are these. Realized I think I need a really smart scientist lady. Thought of how scientists are like grown up versions of children, carrying that curiosity to adulthood. I am studying music, not astronomy or plants, but those things intrigue me. I want to marry a scientist. This might be spurred by the babe in Anaconda.