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December 02, 2008

I'm fat.
My second break-up with the same person.
want to talk to her all the time, and keep crying and feeling sadness, but I know she is with some shithead, and the thought of that is enough to keep me from talking to her, and remembering the horrible night where I panicked for too many hours my heart racing and calling obsessively and not knowing how to deal with her being out with said shithead.
I never want to relive that night. The anguish of that night outweighs anything else I could feel by severing my ties with her. I miss her a great deal. I wish I could be in a relationship. I wish things were beautiful again. I wish I could get over everything. I wish I could fix things, I wish she would fix things, I wish for everything. I wish I still felt relevant. I wish that shithead would die.