August 31, 2008
22:26
dear dairy
i have grown very old since I began this dairy
and even older since I began the one preceding it
I still live with my mother, which is making me crazier by the minute, and it has been since a long time ago
so I must be really crazy now
I think she must be mentally ill. the house is overflowed. it is past the drowning point and now we are in a coma. i don't know if money can save it.
finally going to big people school after a long long long long long time in small school
i wonder if now big people school is small compared to me since im so old now
i must be ninetie now
i need to get rid of this clock
no one seems to understand my music project, and i wonder if i'm the only one who doesn't get it, since they speak with such authority on the matter
they don't think it's enough, that it panders to the wrong class of people, that it could be better, more real or some shit
...
i don't like hearing that, i hate it
because a big part of me believes them
but i mean, whatever. class is horseshit and so is art and if they need this one project to define everything i am musically, they need to realize it's going to stay as it is and i'm going wherever i want
people also keep pointing out how fat i've gotten
thanks people i know
suck my dick
my ex who i keep seeing doesn't like me as much because i got a bit too intimate with some ladies and now i am faced with the prospect of being unloved
picking fun over being loved
even though i want to be loved soooo much
but sometimes, who we act as isn't compatible with that
i am going to school for music
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