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November 24, 2006

If my life becomes a movie, I think there will be a lot of scenes of me standing alone in big empty corridors/rooms/spaces, and soft piano music will play.

I hung out with a bunch of sixteen year olds today, and I sort of wondered about my identity. Who am I? I'm not sixteen. But the scene didn't feel much different from the other ones I've been in. Hard to explain. I guess maybe we define ourselves to a degree by the people around us, so when I feel the same around everyone, I wonder if I've really got an identity.

I drove one girl home, and I just talked and talked. I'm really bad at small talk, so I go in depth right away about whatever's on my mind. She didn't respond much, and I just felt sort of dumb/weird/alienated.

It seems at times like I have no demographic. I feel the same thing with everyone. Maybe I need to try out more people, or stop focusing so much on times where I feel alienated. I don't know. There are people who are cool with me. I'm hungry. I want food.