October 20, 2006
01:47
I hung out with this gal tonight. We only hung out once before, and it ended awkwardly, and then we just saw each other at school from then on.
We were looking at the stars and stuff, and driving around, admiring the scenery.
I ended up getting it on with her, which is cool I think! But afterwards she was like let's keep this on the downlow, because she has a boyfriend. Earlier, I heard her say they were "dating" or whatever, and I guess it's boyfriend.
I like getting it on, but I should probably recalibrate my moral compass. I keep getting it on with gals who have boyfriends, which I guess is kind of cool in a primal way, but not so cool when you take into consideration that people exist and aren't just bowling pins to be knocked over.
I have terrible impulse control, but I didn't think they needed to be controlled. If I felt that way, I wonder if I would have handled it differently.
I have a lot to learn.
I think the apartment complex parking lot must be broken or something. The gates were open and the whole street was lined with cars. I thought it was kind of beautiful how they were all in a line, and all of them had to keep their wheels turned in because if they weren't, one car could break the chain, and I guess it just looked like a whole unified spirit, and that is beautiful.
Im taking a big trip tomorrow. Have to be up in six hours, dang. I like sleeping a lot. I hope I get to sleep once I'm down there! Probably not. I like being awake, too much.
It was a pretty hot time with her, though. I, um, pleasured myself while she held onto me and that was interesting because she could feel my heartbeat and my breaths and gasps and things.
Still kind of odd, though.
I probably need sleep.
Sorry if I hurt anyone tonight.
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