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February 27, 2004

I have been thinking of myself at thirteen years old. I feel like I am doing everything for that kid, so I don't disappoint myself. So I don't look at myself years down the road and contemplate suicide. I want to make the kid proud.

People seem in higher spirits today except for the Wendy's employees. Even the woman who cut my hair, who asked if I knew a hitman who could kill her coworker or at least break her legs, seemed a step above depressed.

Betty said someone reminded her of me. I've been trying to find pictures of them to find out if they are ugly or fox in sox.

She pulled me out of misery and anxiousness and put me in a good place. I constantly try to make myself fall out of love with her but then I do again. It's a bad scene but it makes me feel good to see her. I don't know how much of her beauty is made up and how much is real.

I spoke with an old man about weather and forest fires. I thought of him passing away, wondering when that would be. I thought of the life that never leaves people for as long as they are still breathing. I thought of how we are passed down through every person we come in contact with.