February 13, 2004|
I accidentally gave away a dollar today. I'm so ashamed.
Perhaps it was his blackness that charmed me, or his bicycle. Perhaps I was afraid he'd beat me. Perhaps I just didn't want to bother arguing over a dollar.
What is most bothersome is that I temporarily forsook the increased weight I have recently placed in dollar bills.
Never again will I discard a dollar without considering the implications. Next time I want to give a dollar to a black man, I will buy a 50 Cent song. Even though giving dollars to former crack dealers is downright devious, I will at least be getting a song out of it.
I am dreading February 14, because I crush on Betty. And I wish she was my girlfriend.
A tongue-lashing would be cool, but I will still pine for her even as an Asian girl's face hovers over my crotch.